wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
