his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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