I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
