super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
