Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
