She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
