I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
