They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
