it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He better not be in your backpack
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
