these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
