clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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