Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
