Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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