I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
