Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
