Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize