So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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