they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
