You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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