I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
