I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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