I CAN MOONWALK!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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