its not stalking. its research.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
