12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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