I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
