are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize