kristin has been a bad kristin
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
