You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
