But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
