So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
