Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
