This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
