All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
