So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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