she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We got so high we made milksteak
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
