i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
