He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
