Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
