he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
