i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
