Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
