i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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