perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
