I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize