Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
