ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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