Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
