I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I need moral support for this bender
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Randomize
