That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize