and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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