My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
