It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
