omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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