ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
