You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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