I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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