She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
