If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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