Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
