I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
