Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Congratulations! We have a period
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