No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize