Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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