Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
