people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
