So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
