wakey wakey hands off snakey
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
