if you like me you must not know who I am
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
