Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
