Im at strip club and am horny
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
