i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
