i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My penis needs a shock collar
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
