I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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