Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
