SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
