she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
