So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
