On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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