So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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