Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
